I did my first paid work as an artist when I was in high school way back in 1987 or so. It was a drawing of a girl writing for the cover of a poetry zine that one of my teachers published. I think it was called Promise. Since then, I've done work for hire, work for trade, and work for fun for many, many people. And I absolutely never bothered to keep track of any of it. At all.
For years now I've promised myself I would make a real effort to catalog all this work spanning decades and put it into some kind of big, fat list. Why? To remind myself of what I have accomplished. Because I get down on myself a lot. I berate myself for not doing enough. I'm a lifer amateur, by choice. I work a day job to survive and pay bills and support my family. I do art because I'm an artist. So... often I don't take my art as seriously as I should. I don't categorize myself with other artists who make their living with their craft. At best, I augment my living with my craft.
Anyway, self-deprecation aside, I realize it will be nearly impossible to catalog all I've done. Hell, I've done art for people in the 90s that I mailed to them and never saw again. I didn't have a computer back then, no camera in my pocket. I don't have pics or scans of that work. It's just gone. And I don't even remember much of it.
But I can make an effort to do what I can. This Spring I hope to dig through the boxes in my storage shed and work on some kind of catalog of my small press comics work, at least. I spent over a decade doing that stuff and I never show or talk about it. I tend to do a thing, then move on to something else. Which is fine, I think, and perfectly healthy. But you also have to remind yourself that you've done something lest you forget your own efforts and achievements.
I no longer have most of the first stuff I've drawn physically or digitally due to being careless. The digital pieces still sadden me since I can still visualize them. Made much more of an effort to keep my own art (currently at 781~ unique pieces and sketches). Some nights I just scroll through my previous stuff to see how far I've come (as well as enjoy my older pieces). Hope ya can find a good amount of your stuff when you look for it!
ReplyDeleteI think artists frequently undervalue their own work, leading us to lose it, throw it away, or even destroy it. It is often hard to love what you do because not everything you do is going feel great.
DeleteI recently went to an estate auction of what seemed to be a local amateur artist. Just from looking at her art, I think she began art in earnest in her later years. Her art wasn't my cup of tea and, quite frankly rather crude, but the thought was not lost on me that most, if not all the art I will ever produce will just wind up in the trash when I am gone. My kids will perhaps keep a few pieces but my grandkids probably won't give a shit and it will all wind up in the waste bin. Depressing, but realistic. It also reaffirmed to me that you have to make art for yourself first and foremost.
ReplyDeleteWe never know what folks will think of us once we're gone. I guess we can't worry too much about it, other than trying not to leave a disgraceful legacy for our offspring. lol
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