Earl Norem Was Old Then

Earl Norem did his first Savage Sword of Conan cover in 1976 with issue 14. He went on to do 48 covers for that comic up through issue 218 (that's when I stopped counting). The only other artist to even come close to that many covers for SSoC was Joe Jusko (he did 33 in the same run).

Earl Norem was 53 years old when he did his first SSoC cover. I'm 53 RIGHT NOW. I guess the message here is life does not stop until you're dead. So don't buy into any bullshit about being out of touch or too old to do awesome things.

I really only know Norem for his Conan covers, though he was well-established as a respected and popular artist long before then. It's some old school sweaty barbarian and women lying around kind of shit but I'm into that stuff. Like a guy who goes to model airplane shows. He gets a lot of strange looks, but it's fine.

Aside: Here are the top 10 SSoC cover artists from issues 1-218, based only on number of covers they did.

Earl Norem 48

Joe Jusko 33

Bob Larkin 14

Ovi Hondru 13

Joe Chiodo 11

Doug Beekman 9

Boris Vallejo 8

Dorian 7

Michael Golden 7

Nestor Redondo 7

Poor ole Ernie Chan is just out of the top 10 with 6 covers. But he did a TON of comics pages for that book.

File the rest of this post under "was avoiding doing anything useful, distracted by the pretty shiny things".

While we're on the subject, here's a list of all the artists who did SSoC covers up through issue 218. Issue number on left, artist on right.

1 Boris

2 Neal Adams

3 Michael Kaluta

4 Boris

5 Boris

6 Alex Nino & Frank Magsino

7 Boris

8 Frank Brunner & Bob Larkin

9 Boris

10 Boris

11 Ken Barr

12 Boris

13 Richard Hescox

14 Earl Norem

15 Boris

16 Earl Norem

17 Ernie Chan & Earl Norem

18 Dan Adkins

19 Kenneth Morris

20 Earl Norem

21 Earl Norem

22 Val Mayerik

23 Earl Norem

24 Earl Norem

25 Steve Gan & Dino Castrillo

26 Jim Starlin

27 Bob Larkin

28 Earl Norem

29 Ernie Chan

30 Frank Brunner

31 Howard Chaykin

32 Val Mayerik

33 Earl Norem

34 Ernie Chan

35 Ernie Chan

36 Earl Norem

37 Earl Norem

38 Earl Norem

39 Earl Norem

40 John Buscema

41 Earl Norem

42 Bob Larkin

43 Bob Larkin

44 Bob Larkin

45 Nestor Redondo

46 Earl Norem

47 Earl Norem

48 Nestor Redondo

49 Nestor Redondo

50 Nestor Redondo

51 Earl Norem

52 Nestor Redondo

53 Earl Norem

54 Earl Norem

55 Earl Norem

56 Nestor Redondo

57 Nestor Redondo

58 Earl Norem

59 Clyde Caldwell

60 Earl Norem

61 Joe Chiodo

62 David Mattingly

63 Joe Jusko

64 Joe Jusko

65 Joe Chiodo

66 Joe Chiodo

67 Romas Kukalis

68 Joe Jusko

69 Joe Jusko

70 Earl Norem

71 Joe Chiodo

72 Joe Jusko

73 Joe Chiodo

74 Joe Jusko

75 Earl Norem

76 Joe Chiodo

77 Joe Jusko

78 Earl Norem

79 Joe Chiodo

80 Earl Norem

81 Joe Chiodo

82 Bob Larkin

83 Jeff Easley

84 Joe Chiodo

85 Joe Chiodo

86 Earl Norem

87 John Pound

88 Steve Hickman

89 Bob Larkin

90 Earl Norem

91 Michael Kaluta

92 Bob Larkin

93 Michael Kaluta

94 Val Mayerik

95 Earl Norem

96 Joe Jusko

97 Gaetano Liberatore

98 Michael Golden

99 Joe Jusko

100 Joe Jusko

101 Michael Golden

102 Bill Sienkiewicz

103 Bob Larkin

104 Joe Jusko

105 Michael Golden

106 Michael Golden

107 Earl Norem

108 Joe Jusko

109 Steve Hickman

110 Earl Norem

111 Steve Hickman

112 Joe Jusko

113 Earl Norem

114 Steve Hickman

115 Joe Jusko

116 Bill Sienkiewicz

117 Michael Golden

118 Joe Jusko

119 Ernie Chan

120 Bob Larkin

121 Joe Jusko

122 Ernie Chan

123 Ernie Chan

124 Michael Golden

125 Thomas Kidd

126 Doug Beekman

127 Peter Manko

128 David Mattingly

129 Doug Beekman

130 Joe Jusko

131 Joe Jusko

132 Joe Jusko

133 Doug Beekman

134 Joe Jusko

135 Doug Beekman

136 Doug Beekman

137 Bob Larkin

138 Joe Jusko

139 Joe Jusko

140 Joe Jusko

141 Bob Larkin

142 Joe Jusko

143 Joe Jusko

144 Joe Jusko

145 Roger Stine

146 Daniel Horne

147 Joe Jusko

148 Doug Beekman

149 Doug Beekman

150 Michael Golden

151 Earl Norem

152 Doug Beekman

153 Earl Norem

154 Joe Jusko

155 Dorian

156 Joe Jusko

157 Dorian

158 OVI

159 Joe Jusko

160 Dorian

161 OVI

162 Dorian

163 Mark Caparosa

164 Earl Norem

165 Dorian

166 Earl Norem

167 Earl Norem

168 Earl Norem

169 OVI

170 Joe Jusko

171 Earl Norem

172 OVI

173 Nick Jainschigg

174 Earl Norem

175 Dorian

176 Earl Norem

177 OVI

178 Joe Chiodo

179 Earl Norem

180 OVI

181 Dorian

182 OVI

183 Doug Beekman

184 Lou Harrison

185 OVI

186 Lou Harrison

187 OVI

188 Earl Norem

189 OVI

190 Earl Norem

191 Joe Jusko

192 Bob Larkin

193 Earl Norem

194 Earl Norem

195 OVI

196 Earl Norem

197 OVI

198 Bob Larkin

199 OVI

200 Joe Jusko

201 Vince Evans

202 Earl Norem

203 Vince Evans

204 Alan Rabinowitz

205 John Watkiss

206 Bob Larkin

207 Michael Kaluta

208 George Pratt

209 John Watkiss

210 Vince Evans

211 George Pratt

212 Julie Bell

213 Jim Hoston

214 Julie Bell

215 Tim Conrad

216 Toni Taylor

217 Tim Conrad

218 Earl Norem

And here's how many covers each of these artists did for the comic. Name on left, number of covers on the right.

Alan Rabinowitz 1

Alex Nino & Frank Magsino 1

Bill Sienkiewicz 2

Bob Larkin 14

Bob Larkin & Frank Brunner 1

Boris Vallejo 8

Clyde Caldwell 1

Dan Adkins 1

Daniel Horne 1

David Mattingly 2

Dino Castrillo & Steve Gan 1

Dorian 7

Doug Beekman 9

Earl Norem 48

Earl Norem & Ernie Chan 1

Ernie Chan 6

Frank Brunner 1

Gaetano Liberatore 1

George Pratt 2

Howard Chaykin 1

Jeff Easley 1

Jim Hoston 1

Jim Starlin 1

Joe Chiodo 11

Joe Jusko 33

John Buscema 1

John Pound 1

John Watkiss 2

Julie Bell 2

Ken Barr 1

Kenneth Morris 1

Lou Harrison 2

Mark Caparosa 1

Michael Golden 7

Michael Kaluta 4

Neal Adams 1

Nestor Redondo 7

Nick Jainschigg 1

OVI 13

Peter Manko 1

Richard Hescox 1

Roger Stine 1

Romas Kukalis 1

Steve Hickman 4

Thomas Kidd 1

Tim Conrad 2

Toni Taylor 1

Val Mayerik 3

Vince Evans 3

The Savage Sword Situation

Oh woe is me! I cannot seem to remember exactly which issue of Savage Sword of Conan was my first. This important blog post will seek to correct this pivotal injustice. I shall dive deep and figure this shit out. You are invited to join, or welcomed to run away. Your choice.

There are a few distinct memories I have of acquiring and reading SSOC. I’m going to sketch out the main ones, then I’ll try to analyze them based on the release date of those specific issues and where I was at in my life at that time.

1. Joe’s Underboob (issue #104, Sept 1984)

As mentioned in this salacious post on my scantily-clad alternative blog, I was quite fixated on the cover art for this issue. In fact, this art adorns the wall to my left even as I type these words right now in 2023. To be honest, I don't even remember what was inside this one. To be even more honest, there's probably only one issue of SSOC that I do remember inside and out. The stories tended to blur together, didn't they? Conan would be cast into some situation with some thugs and damsels, cut a bunch of bastards in half, roll in the hay with a hottie, and maybe slay a demon. That's what we bought the book for.

But I do remember this cover. Joe Jusko was at the height of his powers with this one. And I'm not even a huge Jusko fanboy or anything. My connection to him is merely through his SSOC covers, with this one being the standout. In a lot of his paintings I just see Vallejo-style gym shorts dudes with oiled pecks.

2. The Mill (issue #105, Oct 1984)

I think this is a fucking great issue. It kicks off with an epic Michael Golden cover that actually depicts what is happening inside the comic. Now, I don't think this is necessary, mind you. I'm a fan of zines and comics with cover art that just does whatever the hell it wants. But in this case the cover really does tell you what the story is about.

I actually studied this cover art quite a bit. I eyeballed it in detail, looking at how Golden drew buckles and how he angled the weapons to avoid boring front-on shots. And his crazy colors!

Then we get the story The Mill, written by Don Krarr, pencilled by Gary Kwapisz, and inked by Bob Camp. Kwapisz had already contributed a number of pinups to the comic and would go on to do a lot more feature stories. He was at his peak when I was an avid SSOC reader.

The Mill is a very simple story. It features no sorcery, no magic, no kings, no monsters. It is about a group of cold, hungry soldiers who come upon a grain mill and crash it to feed their bellies and get warm. Conan, their leader, forces the owner of the mill to comply but promises no harm will come to him or his family. Naturally, Conan's men are too base and lecherous to keep that promise and so he has to kill them. ALL OF THEM. And it is glorious, bloody, epic storytelling with a gritty ending to boot.

This is #98, not #102.

3. Jabba the What the Fuck Bill Sienkiewisz? (issue #102, July 1984)

See, this is the twist. I'm listing these issues in my memory order. But clearly my memory is fucked because this issue predates the other two. I distinctly remember picking up #104 and it felt like my first. But I 100% for certain also owned #102 because every single page of it hits my memory receptors like a tidal wave. Especially the letters page... which shows the phenomenal art from the cover of issue #98... which I NEVER OWNED. I remember bemoaning the fact that I got in after that issue.

Of course the cover pictured here is #98. The actual #102 cover is by Bill Sienkiewisz, which is cool... but it ain't no Jabba-slaying Conan.

4. For shits, let's look at #103 and maybe #101

So which of these was actually my first SSOC? Maybe it will help me narrow this down if I look at a few peripheral issues.

First up, #101. Hard nope. I have absolutely no memory of this one. If I dig out my Conan books, long isolated in my storage shed and probably suffering as a result, I will not find this one. It has a dope Michael Golden cover though, with some beefy warriors on a boat and a witch.

And HOLY FUCK it has an aboslutely SICK Armando Gil frontpiece! Check this out:

So what about #103? Nope. I don't recognize that Bob Larkin cover and I don't remember any tigers with stars on their heads. Also, and this might sound incredibly juvenile to you, but I would probably remember the naked woman on page one of the story. I was a teenager.

Umm... #106? For damn sure, no. I never even laid eyes on that Michael Golden cover.

Rudy Nebres brings the heat.

#107 does get me back into familiar territory with its Earl Norem Viking cover and a villain who looks like Warduke. I had this issue for sure. I also had #108, #109... yeah. So it was with issue #107 that I fell into the lucky habit of picking up every issue every month.

5. What are we to make of this?

Ok. As far as I can recall, I didn't know anyone who collected or bought or read SSOC. I discovered it quite by accident at a convenience store. It must have been in in July, 1984, that I made the initial discovery. Two months later I found another, and followed up on it one month later. Then I missed a bit and finally settled into the routine of buying them monthly in December, 1984.

In the summer of 1984 I was 13 years old and I was in 7th grade. This was when my family finally stopped moving around all the time. We settled into a single location where we lived until I graduated from high school. This is why I was able to start picking up comics on a monthly basis. I was getting SSOC and Amazing Spider-Man.

Ok. I think my work here is done. I now have a Savage Sword timeline I can refer to next time I can't remember. This was fun.

If I Want Cheesecake I'll Buy Cheesecake

Often wondered how they got there. And why.

Ah, the scantily clad femme fatale of fantasy. Long have I viewed and dreamed of her. I fondly remember being an adolescent boy and picking up the Savage Sword of Conan each month from a local mini mart shelf. I grabbed issue #104 and spent far too long looking at the delicious Joe Jusko cover, complete with redhead chick dangling from Conan's sword belt showing all kinds of underboob.

Sexist? Oh yeah, no doubt about it. Conan stories in general are sexist as fuck. If you don't believe me, try reading Howard. Check out The Jewels of Gwahlur and note how many times the damsel breaks down in tears or faints. It's classic 1930s hard man storytelling.

Anyhow... I appreciate a good chainmail bikini. There's a rich aesthetic to it... a kind of metal-and-flesh eroticism that stirs the imagination (and loins, natch). You can do it right. You can do it without being toxic. I have preached about this before. A chainmail bikini image does not a misogynist make. Having your female characters constantly faint and cry... well, that's a different story.

So for me it's really a matter of honesty. Own what you are doing. Don't give me 60 pages of tits and ass and market it as a serious adventure story. It isn't. It's a tits and ass story. Own it.

Erotic, chainmail chick, pinup, R-rated... whatever you want to call it. Just eat the god damned cheesecake and stop calling it caviar. And if you want to do a story that is taken seriously, you need to cut way the fuck back on the cheesecake.

She can get cut and scratched, but she's gonna kick your ass.