Honest look in the mirror:
You have what people call natural talent. You don't work hard enough to turn it into a career, but it's good enough that most people around you are impressed.
You have impressed a few other people who are more well-connected than yourself, and that has granted you some notoriety.
You occasionally create something raw and wild enough that people notice, which contributes to your trivial successes.
You continue to meander through a creative life without direction.
Direction is overrated to be honest. Almost no-one makes huge money or achieves a lasting monument to anything in any avenue of life, and the ones that do are usually either morally degenerate hucksters or simply in the right place at the right time.
ReplyDeleteYou make cool shit, and I'm not sure game products etc can really be anything more than 'cool shit' or that they need to be.
I'll take it.
DeleteI agree that direction isn't always necessary, at least not in the big sense. Honestly most of what I've done has been based on short term inspiration and managing to get over the critical mass required to hit the finish line.
And that ain't so bad. Most people don't have any trivial/occasional successes in creative realms.
ReplyDeleteAnd not working hard enough probably has many causes that are deeply rooted in who you are and what you're like, most of them not "laziness" like your superego probably calls them. If you're anxious or depressed or have other things you have to do, then occasional successes are great achievements.
And there are many other talented people who have this in common with you, and many of them work less than you and enjoy fewer creative successes, or theirs stopped sometime in their life.
So be proud of what you have done, and don't beat yourself up for being who you are. Lots of people love your zines and games and art.
Thank you. Yes, as with most people, I have my shit to deal with that isn't related to making art stuff.
DeleteSounds less like a lack of diligence and more like a lot of internalized criticism. Please be kind to yourself, you deserve kindness.
ReplyDeleteI'll take that advice, thanks!
DeleteProzac 40 and I would say Lamotrigine about 150
ReplyDeleteI hope you're doing ok.
DeleteHey, you produce more things than I do.
ReplyDeleteI WIN!
Deletelol... just kidding.
Take care of yourself and be careful out there.